Pasha was a survivor. She was born fighting for her life, and her life ended the same way. Pasha was a fighter with a fierce life force and spirit to live, even when confronted with the most challenging physical problems to overcome. From the day Pasha was born in the drop box of the Martinez Animal Shelter, Pasha fought with all of her might to stay alive. She and her three newborn siblings and her mama were deathly sick with Feline Viral Rhinotacheitis (FVR), a common virus that spreads in animal shelters that can quickly devastate fragile, vulnerable kittens. When we brought Pasha, kittens and mama cat home to foster—one by one, the kittens succumbed to the virus following several visits to the emergency hospital to revive and treat them. But their tiny bodies could not defend against the virulent virus and they surrendered to the disease. Only Pasha survived along with her beautiful mother. Pasha had the life force of four lives in one. Now 18 years later, Pasha is fighting for her life again with every weak breath that is slowly taking her life and her vibrant, beautiful spirit with her. It is with so much sadness and heartbreak that we witness Pasha losing her battle to stay alive. In the last 24 hours, Pasha has developed rapid labored breathing, lethargy, weakness, and has stopped eating—as her physical body is letting go of life. And now, we are facing the toughest challenge, a day we wish would never come, the day we need to help our little Pasha go, to alleviate any further suffering for her.

Two years ago, at our vet’s office (Four Corners Veterinary Hospital in Concord), we discovered that Pasha had a pulmonary mass in her chest. She showed increased bronchial markings in her x-rays, and inflammation in her lungs. Since she was born, Pasha was constantly plagued by chronic, acute and long-term upper respiratory disease triggered by the Viral Rhinotacheitis that caused permanent damage to Pasha’s nasal passages. Often termed post-viral rhinitis, Pasha suffered from severe bouts of Feline Herpesvirus (FHV) and Feline Hemotropic Mycoplasma (like walking pneumonia), which caused long-term damage to the lining of her air passages and nasal cavities. As a result, all of her life, Pasha has struggled with bacterial infections that were the consequence of her damaged nasal passages. This led to persistent chronic and intermittent symptoms of rapid-fire sneezing, nasal congestion and discharges, noisy breathing and snoring, and chronic coughing. Early on, from the time Pasha was an adult kitten (about one year old), we learned that there was no real cure for her symptoms, and that her symptoms would never resolve completely and disappear, but would recur again and again over her lifetime. The treatment was always the same—antibiotics like Zenequin and Doxycycline for 30 days. With this treatment, Pasha would improve significantly for a time and get relief, then would slowly return to her same symptoms again. During periods of infection, we also supplemented Pasha’s antibiotics with daily nebulization therapy, using a nebulizer two times a day for about two weeks, to break up the mucus and clear her nasal passages. We did this for 18 years. Through it all, all the discomfort and suffering, Pasha soldiered stoically on, accepting “what is” and making the most of her situation and life, taking the good with the bad.

In Pasha’s later life at 15, she was diagnosed with Hyperthyroid disease, which can trigger a host of other serious diseases if not adequately treated. So added to Pasha’s treatment regimen were daily Methimazole pills, morning and night, and eventually Methimazole transdermal gel treatment applied to her ears. This kept her hyperthyroid disease in check. In addition, when Pasha was 15 years old, I witnessed that she started licking her back end frequently, and started going to the litter box repeatedly, and she seemed bothered by pain possibly from urinating. When I found blood in her urine both in the box and on the floor, I quickly whisked her away to our vet for a blood and urine test, and x-rays. Her x-rays clearly showed one very large stone causing a partial blockage in her bladder at her urethra. It was an Ammonium Urate (Uric Acid) bladder stone that needed to be surgically removed immediately as it was blocking the flow of her urine and could cause dangerous toxins to build up that could be fatal. This particular stone was thought to be caused by a genetic condition. So that week, my trusted vet performed surgery to open Pasha’s bladder and remove her stone and during the surgery also removed a protrusion skin “pocket” inside her bladder that was thought to be the culprit contributing to her bladder stone and the buildup of bacteria. Thankfully, the surgery was very successful, and Pasha quickly recovered and never had the problem again. The treatment plan for her post-surgery, was a round of antibiotics; adding warm water to Pasha’s wet food morning and night; and giving her minimal to no dry food for the remainder of her life, since dry food is so dehydrating for cats. So Pasha was fed in a separate room to make sure she didn’t access dry food.

As we reflect in this day—Pasha’s last day with us, it is especially poignant and heartbreaking because she and her litter mates were our very first foster cats in 2003 when we bought and moved into our new house. It was the beginning of our lives spent rescuing, fostering, rehabilitating, socializing, and adopting out rescue cats. Our lives were forever changed and transformed by this difficult, time-consuming but rewarding work. Though we fell into this work by accident, I believe it was no accident that we were selected by the universe to do it and save some of the countless, innocent homeless cats that inhabit our communities. We had the compassion, patience, love and bandwidth to accept these feline lives that had been dealt a bad hand in life to no fault of their own. It wasn’t easy, or convenient, or cheap–we had busy jobs and long commutes, but we responded to the need, and took it in stride, with honor and joy for the next 18 years. Though we already initially had four rescue cats when we started in 2003, and though we never intended to have any more cats, we saw the profound need in our community that asked to be responded to. I guess you could say we were “called” to service, and since that day, we have been there for as many abandoned and homeless cats and kittens as we could take on and take in to our home, and keep if necessary or get adopted to a loving, forever home.

That first day that Pasha arrived, was A-24 day for her. If we had not accepted Pasha and her siblings, and her mama, they were scheduled to be euthanized, along with tens of others at the shelter that particular day. I never met the other cats of course, and you can never take them all, but we did take Pasha, her mom, and three other kittens, which changed their lives forever, and ours. We felt at least we helped do our “part.” We transformed our empty upstairs bedroom into our “foster room” adding a rug, cat tree, cage, and toys, and began our journey of rescuing abandoned street cats, fostering and medically rehabilitating them, socializing, spaying and neutering them, and going to adoptions every weekend with the adoptable cats. This has been our married life for the past 18 years, and Pasha represents the transformation our lives experienced as we worked to make a household of rescue cats safe, healthy and happy. 

What further weighs on us as we lose our Pasha, is that 18 years after buying our house and starting to foster Pasha, we are now selling our beloved house, moving away – and divorcing. So what came to be with Pasha, is now ending with Pasha. As a friend reminded me in Ecclesiastes 3: 1-8: “To everything there is a season, a time for every purpose under heaven; A time to be born, and a time to die; A time to break down, and a time to build up: A time to mourn, and a time to dance; A time to weep, and a time to laugh.” These are all necessary for us to learn, grow and evolve as spiritual beings.

Thank you dear Pasha for helping us do just that—you presented us with an opportunity, a Gift, and we were open to receiving it. We are forever grateful, and will always love you. Forever.